Sometimes circumstances affect people so much that even the nicest of them can become unpleasant. A person does not realize how much his personality changes. Others try to avoid contact with her, and problems arise in her relationships with friends and family. As a result of these changes, some suffer from depression, and others feel lonely for life. How to recognize in advance the signs that show you are becoming a toxic person?
Magicaltip warns you: you should worry if you show at least 4 of the behavioral characteristics listed below.
#11. You do a lot for others, but people do not value it
It seems to you that people do not appreciate the value you bring to them, that they do not take it into account and that they do not even try to adapt to your preferences. You are tired of giving advice that people rarely follow. They still complain about their problems without understanding the reasons for your discontent.
In fact, you owe nothing to anyone, but the others do not owe you anything either. Help each other if you are asked and you really want to help him. But do not even expect to be thanked in return. And do not forget that solving your own problems must be your priority in your life.
#10. You’re not accustomed to congratulating others and you do not see the point in telling your loved ones that you love them
Who needs compliments if they look more like adulation to which people tend to resort by interest? Why speak about your love to your loved ones, if it is perfectly obvious by your actions?
In fact, you lose the ability to express your emotions. It is important for people to hear that they are loved. Compliments certainly have something superficial, but valuing the result of someone’s efforts is also a manifestation of your sincere attention to another person.
#9. You help in a difficult situation without waiting for someone to ask you to remind the person that life is just suffering
You have a hard time accepting someone happy or looking happy for no good reason. After all, you know that life is a struggle, and that if you let go, you can get a very hard blow. Therefore, you try to prevent your loved ones from seeing too much of life in pink.
In fact, this attitude prevents you from being realistic. You lose the ability to share the joy and happiness of others and to appreciate the simple things and moments that are worth living.
Helping in a difficult situation means a lot, but people often avoid those who like to start supporting sentences with the words: “I told you …” Maybe you like to portray a fighter experienced who knows how to live? Or do you help others to feel your own importance or perhaps to remind them that without your help they are unable to cope?
#8. During a dispute you express your opinion and you disappear
You do not want to listen to your caller, you do not answer his calls and SMS. You want the other person to rehearse the story a thousand times, to guess how much she hurt you and to worry if something happened to you because she did not have not heard from you for a long time. Finally, she will understand how much you count for her.
In fact, if it is very dear to you, you should not try to confuse it, but try to examine the problem together. Sometimes the situation requires a break, but do not forget: take a break to continue this conversation a little later, so that each of you can think alone about the situation. The important thing is not to get angry and not upset someone else for no reason.
#7. You think that criticism is the best motivation for success
Why should you congratulate someone if they are doing things right now, especially if it is their responsibility? You are not like those who celebrate even the insignificant successes of another person, because you are sure that only constructive criticism leads to perfection.
In fact, we commend people for emphasizing the importance of their work, especially when they do something for others. If a person understands that their work is appreciated, they do it even better.
But it’s important, to be honest, and know when to stop. You do not have to praise every insignificant act and do it all the time. But, for example, if your dog asks you to go out in the middle of the night and your husband has volunteered to walk, allowing you to continue sleeping, then his act certainly deserves praise.
#6. You’re not used to excusing yourself
This is a childish situation, why ask forgiveness if the other party still sees the situation in his own way and is sure to be right? As a sign of reconciliation, you simply pretend that nothing has happened.
In fact, with excuses, you do not admit that you are wrong. It’s a way to show that, despite the disagreements, you did not want to offend another person with your words and your behavior and that you are ready to continue the relationship, leaving the misunderstanding in the past.
#5. You lay a dilemma to another to achieve your ends
You do not like long conversations, and you can not stand a person behaving differently than you would like. You use his weaknesses and his affection to achieve your ends.
In fact, if you tend to use phrases like, “Choose between me and your stupid work for which you’re never home,” that means you’re trying to manipulate the person. Such methods are only good for ending a relationship.
If the relationship with another person means something to you, then you should try to find time to discuss the problem together and find a satisfactory solution for both of you. You may have to make concessions, and it’s not a humiliation, but it shows you’re a team.
#4. Your way of talking disturbs others
You just asked your friend “how are you?” And he hurried off. Or you caught someone’s attention, but he took it as a personal insult. If these things happen all the time, it may not be because of what you said, but because of the way you did it.
In fact, the intonation speaks to the speaker about your attitude toward him, adds an extra hidden meaning and can make unnecessary sarcasm in the sentence or joke, completely changing its meaning. Therefore, what is important is what you say but also how you say it.
It’s easy to check on your own – record some of your conversations on a tape recorder and listen to them. An unpleasant intonation is perceptible, even when you speak as kindly as possible (according to you) to a member of your family for example.
#3. You tend to argue about something online and you’re not afraid to put someone back in their place
You participate in discussions to criticize someone. After some comments, you have already drawn a psychological portrait of this person in your head and you did not realize that it had become personal. You think you are giving a good lesson to a rude ignorant, and it even gives you a little pleasure.
In fact, before you get into a conflict, ask yourself if it’s worth your time and energy. When you criticize a person, you will certainly not change his point of view, but you will not show the best of yourself. So who do you want to prove something to? To yourself? However, the habit of criticizing others may start to please you and make you an unsocial person.
#2. Other people disturb you and even annoy you intentionally by their behavior
You’re always in a good mood, like everyone else. Apparently, your colleague has problems, because he is withdrawn and does not seem to want to be your friend. You think he’s disrespecting you. Now, because of his behavior, you are also annoyed, the work becomes too painful, the day is fucked!
In fact you must not project your thoughts on others, otherwise, you will see and hear only things that have nothing to do with reality. It’s even worse to lose control of your emotions and to blame someone. Also, if you put pressure on someone, forcing him to apologize for the fact that he’s upset you, then it’s almost certain the problem is your fault.
#1. You spend less and less time with your parents and family problems annoy you
You are an adult and independent person and your work requires a lot of time and effort. You do not have time to visit your parents and you do not want to spend all the weekends in family recreation. For you, it is a precious moment to enjoy a well deserved rest.
In fact, when a person moves away from his family, it is a worrying sign. Our parents will not always be there, children will grow up in the blink of an eye, and friends and relatives will sometimes leave suddenly, so every moment we spend together is worth its weight in gold.
If you agree, but you’re just not happy to communicate with your family and friends, it’s possible that the problem is emotional exhaustion and that you have things to deal with yourself. It may be easier for you to do this with the help of a good psychologist.
And you? Have you ever had the opportunity to know a toxic person? Tell us when you realized it.
Cover Photo By © Jeux d’enfants / Nord-Ouest Films