Anna Bykova is a lazy mother. And she is not ashamed to admit it. In fact, the psychologist and author of several bestsellers is even proud of this “title” because, in his opinion, it gives the child the opportunity to develop his autonomy. Be careful, she does not talk about lying on the couch all day, but not wanting to do everything herself. For example, she is sometimes “too lazy” to wash dishes, but she allows a seven-year-old to do it just to learn coordination. And it does not matter if she has to dry the water on the floor or redo the dishes when he is not looking.
At MagicalTip, we support this interesting educational method, where there is no room for over-protection, and with the author’s permission, we share several tips that will make life easier for many parents.
#1. How to teach a child to use the toilet seat
How? Gradually and patiently.
- The pot must be visible to the child and always placed in the same place. Under no circumstances should the child be forced to use the pot.
- At first, do not forget to praise any result, whether or not there is something in the pot or if he/she simply sat down to please you
- You can also set a teddy bear on the pot and tell stories about how wonderful it is when fairy-tale characters have panties/underpants. It’s enough. The rest is only a matter of time.
An excerpt from Anna Bykova’s book: An Independent Child, or How to Become a “Lazy Mother”
#2. How to prevent anger attacks in children
- Take away from the sight of the child what he can not have.
- Show the child something else, offer him another more interesting activity. Me, I always had with me bubbles or a balloon that I could begin to inflate urgently, or small cheap rope toys.
- Scissors are a dangerous toy for a baby, but if he really wants to play with them, he can touch them under the watchful eye of the mother. Too many prohibitions make a child nervous and limit his development.
- You can say “Of course, but later” or “Yes, but …” in other words: “Of course, we will play, we will just sleep a little and then play”.
- To interrupt a game at mealtime, we suggest that the child feeds his toy. To feed a young builder, instead of “We leave the dumpsters, we will eat soup”, announces that the construction team is on lunch break.
- We offer an alternative, whose principle is that the child will choose our way. But this method will not always work: only from the age when the child can choose or reject both options.
#3. How to calm a child if the tantrum has already begun
If you can not escape the tantrum, the sequence of your actions may be as follows:
- To divert attention.
- Calm. Generally, over time, each family develops its own ritual to calm a child. It can be the same poem, fairy tale or game. For example, the mother can blow to dry her tears. Or give the child a glass of soothing “magic” water.
- Ignore. If you have already used all other methods and there is no danger to their health (epileptic seizure, asthma attack), you can let the child cry alone or simply ignore the crying for a moment . Do not scold, do not lock up the child, but calmly express the conclusion: “You probably just want to cry now … When you’re tired of crying, you and I could [suggest something interesting ].
#4. Comment nourrir un enfant qui ne mange pas beaucoup ?
Eating is a natural necessity of the body. Try to “forget” to feed the baby. He will warn you that he is hungry, uttering a loud cry, and he will not calm down until he has eaten. The child knows best when and how much to eat..
- When you offer a child a varied and colorful meal, remember a delicate psychological moment: the essential thing is not to start convincing! It is better to wait until the child is hungry. When food is associated only with positive moments, the appetite is much better.
- If you also want to involve the child in the cooking process, you will allow him to create, to experiment with the ingredients, to choose the food for dinner at the store, so the little chef will have no problem of appetite.
- And if, again, the mother wants to “overfeed” a child, it is worth stopping and thinking, “What makes me do that? Stereotypes of the past? My own ideas that everything must be eaten on the plate? “Believe me, the child himself is not his own enemy, he is always in touch with his body. He will eat when he is hungry. Forcing him to eat is not the best thing to do for a healthy education.
#5. If the child refuses to eat
- If your child “eats nothing” during the main meal, try to let him eat snacks between meals.
- Try to ban industrial food and flavor enhancers. When a child gets used to several “flavor enhancers”, a healthy meal in the canteen will seem unappetizing.
- Fewer sweets.
- No more walking, no more physical activity. I’m sure this will have a positive effect on a child’s appetite.
#6. How to put a child to sleep
Reasons for falling asleep include the habit of falling asleep, the perception of sleep as punishment, and the sheer weight of falling asleep when parents say so.
I will share my discoveries and the methods I used when working in kindergarten.
- Body therapy. I sat on the chair next to the child’s bed. I put one hand on their thigh, gently staring at their legs, and the other on their shoulder. Then I made very gentle rocking movements. This allowed him to relax muscularly and relax the body’s nervous system.
- Breathe together. Holding my hands on the child’s body, I united with his breathing and I breathed for a moment like him. Little by little, I deepened my breathing. Then he began to slowly oscillate rhythmically. Because of the oscillatory movements and slow breathing, he relaxed and the child fell asleep very quickly.
- Monotonous reading. Reading the text of the fairy tale, I inserted the sentences on relaxation and sleep: “And then came the princess ….”. And the prince … And they went to rest a bit, because later they had a lot of things to do … “It is necessary to read a long time, breathing out, with breaks for a gentle breath and a progressive deceleration of the speed of the speech With this type of reading, there is also a slowing of the breathing among the listeners.
#7. How to teach a child to sleep alone
- Introduce a quiet sleep attribute. It can be a toy with which the baby will sleep. With such a toy, it is easy to fall asleep not only in bed, but everywhere else.
- Move in together in the new bed. If the child has slept in the parents’ bed, the mother can first move with the baby in bed. And then, he can get used to the new bed first (next to his mother), then, when his bed has become habitual, he can sleep alone.
- Creates an additional stimulant. If personal motivation is not particularly strong, additional motivation can be created. To do this, you can choose with the child a new bedding and some accessories: glittering stars on the ceiling, a beautiful night light and a talisman to make sweet dreams.
Every mother has her own secrets when it comes to raising her toddlers. What means did you use to teach your children to use the pot? How did you manage to put baby to bed or feed him when he stubbornly refused to swallow anything? Do not hesitate to share your tips and tricks in the comments below.
Cover Picture by @Flickr