According to surveys, 58% of people consider that the event that has generated a dramatic change in their life is marriage, 49% think it’s divorce, 38%, retirement and paternity top the list with 76%. This is probably the reason why the publication of a nanny with more than 15 years of experience has become so popular on social networks.
Among more than 100 families, the author claims to have known only three in which people were really happy. According to the nanny, most parents are stressed, completely exhausted and stuck in a finished marriage. The sad thing is that they often do not even notice it. That’s why she has important advice to give to people who have decided to have children on how to stay together and happy.
MagicalTip carefully read the recommendations of this experienced nanny and compared them to the opinions of psychologists and specialists in the field of relationships and education of children. Some tips may seem too simple or too hard, but they have their share of truth.
Mistake # 1: Not thinking about financial well-being
they say they are sacrificing their own financial security for their children. This kind of circumstance leads to different conflicts within a family.
- “Parents need to be financially comfortable so that they can take good care of their children. And that includes having the means to have a nanny for at least a full day on the weekend or two or three nights a week. “
Mistake # 2: think that the more children we have, the stronger the family ties will be
There is no consensus on the ideal number of children in a family. But it’s important to understand that having children is not a way to strengthen a marriage. And you must not seek another one for this purpose. Studies show that parenting can lead to changes that negatively affect a couple’s relationship.
- “A child is happiness. Two, a question of organization. Three, you’re just trying to make sure they survive. “
Mistake # 3: Prioritize Children Only
One of the modern myths about children’s education says, “The more you pay attention to children, the better for them.” But too much pressure can do them more harm than good. the best for their children should spend more time being better spouses.
- “Remember that the most important relationship in your life is between you and your spouse. Having a baby is an incredible thing, but if you only talk about it, you can lose yourself to each other. “
Mistake # 4: Not learning to be a parent and not taking responsibility for your children
According to research, if young children grow up in a stressful environment (including abuse and neglect), this can have a negative effect on their intelligence. Do not think that everything will work out by itself. No parent is perfect, but the child’s responsibility remains yours.
- “Learn to be a good parent. And understand what you do with your child. Forget everything you read in the books of the last century about the need to use corporal punishment. Do not do it, that’s all. The worst families I’ve seen are those where parents have no idea what they are doing and think their kids are monsters. If your child is rude and not ashamed, it’s 100% of your fault (and it’s 100% under your control!). “
Mistake # 5: Make your parenting role the main goal of your life
Children overprotected by their parents are 3 times more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety. Parenting is inevitable, but focusing on that and sacrificing things constantly is a mistake. As a general rule, adults can better explain their child’s life through their own example.
“You are much more than a parent. You are also a friend, a spouse, an employee, etc. Go out with your friends, play sports, study, do things without your child, talk to other people about things that are not about children. “
Mistake # 6: Get rid of pets when a baby arrives at home
According to experts, growing up with pets has a positive effect on children’s self-esteem and development. Of course, we must put aside cases where there are medical contraindications. But some people think that they simply will not have time to take care of their animals, whereas in practice, the process of adaptation with the arrival of a new member in the family is not as difficult than it seems at first sight.
- “Please do not get rid of your pets just because you are going to have a baby. Do not do it, that’s all. “
This post has provoked a lot of answers on social networks. Some people compare the arrival of a child at home with that of a dog, and say that both generate the same amount of stress in life. Others said that society puts a lot of pressure on families because they have to follow a certain number of standards and find a way to do everything.
The author of these publications has been working as a full-time and part-time nanny since 2002. Her reflections come from her observations in more than one hundred families. What do you think of his recommendations and experiences? Do you agree with everything she says? Maybe you also have your own advice for those who intend to have children? Tell us in the comments below.
Cover Photo by @ Pixabay